Tuesday, March 23, 2010

another piss story--organizational oversight--should be with the others in a nice little grouping--although this book was 'done' as I continue to transcribe I see how very rough/unedited and incomplete it still was when he stopped actively working on it--as I mentioned before most of what you are reading I am transcribing and reading for the first time myself--this is not the picture of my father I would have chosen to paint--these are not (mostly) examples of his highest, deepest, most enlightened or even accurate depictions of his life--they are frozen and embellished stories of events he found amusing or touching or seminal, but they lack in the telling the fullness of context. He parades follies as though humiliation were a tonic and I find it sad, embarrassing, pitiful even that he thought that this is the 'stuff' from his life, from him--that others would be interested in hearing, as opposed to the nuanced, subtle, complex musing of his mature and poetic mind. It leaves me exhausted and bored and ultimately disappointed because honestly what he was doing was not putting down a memoir for posterity, for his family to read and remember but telling a dirty joke at his own (and others expense) so as to render himself the entertaining center of attention--kind of par for the course, really.

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